toof.nounandverb.com

oh gosh, i’m sorry.

Sunday, June 10, 2007 – 4:24 pm

hey y’all!

i’m sorry!

somewhere along the time i was writing music and playing shows, i must have forgotten that this website was initially developed so that you could spank it to Mariah Carey’s retarded half-sister, jennifer toof.

i know this because my ’stats’ page lets me know what search terms you folks use to get to this website.

i realize you’re probably holding your wang with the hand you write with, and that this is probably an erection-killing dissapointment to you.

and believe me, i’m truly sorry about that.

but can i ask you one question?

is she really the best you could look for on the internet?

i mean, really?

i could park my pickup truck on her shiny-ass forehead!

what’s hot about putting your father in a leglock?

i know for a fact that there are younger, hotter, better-shaped, prettier, less-retarded-looking, less-shiny, smaller-forehead-having, less-daddy-issue-having sluts peppered ALL OVER the interweb.

and that gives YOU the power of CHOICE!

so you should be exercising that choice!

if you were given the choice between a hyundai and a lexus, would you choose the hyundai?

i didn’t think so.

so go wash your filthy hands and quit whacking it to low-rent, retarded women.

have some dignity.

and buy one of my cds too.

thank you!

t