the pilot.
Sunday, January 13, 2008 – 4:58 pmSCENE 1: Wide shot of a two-story house in Anywhere, USA…. switch to a living room where BLACK DUDE and BAPTIST GUY are on the couch.
BAPTIST GUY: “The world is flat.”
BLACK DUDE: “Tiger Woods is the greatest athlete of all time.”
We see WOMYN come in from the kitchen wearing an apron that reads “Come N’ Get It!”
WOMYN: “I have a mom haircut.”
MORMON GUY comes in the front door and says, “I can’t drink caffeine because it’s against my religion.”
CATHOLIC DUDE (from upstairs): “Prostate cancer yankees pro-choice 911 times square disneyland second wife.”
(light laughter track)
P.O.W. CURMUDGEON (from kitchen): “My genitals are mangled!!!”
WOMYN, BLACK DUDE, and BAPTIST GUY all roll their eyes.
end of scene 1.
—
politics are gay, i just like writing screenplays.
i’m pretty good at it, i think.
i’m working on a action/romantic comedy right now.
it’s kind of a cross between american history x and mr. and mrs. smith.
except with a lot more prison rape scenes.
product placement ideas include: sonic’s cheesecake bites, t-mobile sidekicks, toyota yaris, taco bell’s 7 layer burritos, blockbuster video, and target
clever one liners include:
“it’s time to take out the trash”
“i’m getting too old for this shit”
“if he stops being a white supremacist, i’m gonna rape that guy in the shower while 2 other men hold him down.”