it was packed!!
hell yeah!!!
here are some photos, you won’t see me until the last one.
you’ll also see eryn and john!
it was also really late when we finally played and despite the mistakes we had a surprising amount of energy.
and all the other bands were absolutely phenomenal!
they all rocked ass.
and, although it wasn’t a plucker’s show, it comes in a very close 2nd place!!!
;) winkey face.
luv,
t
WOW!
as i stood on an shaky, wooden stage last nite under a tent in a parking lot in far north Austin, and looked out onto IH-35 while we were playing Del Shannon’s ‘Runaway’, i truly felt (for the very first time in my life) like i had finally arrived.
while the sun set in the very progressive township of Round Rock, the scent of fried macaroni and cheese sticks (’FMACS’) blended with the aroma of the XXX Hot Wing Sauce.
it was so beautiful, i thought i heard a whale crying.
the pleasant conversations of the blue-collars and Dell-collars discussing conservative politics over green beer made me feel like i was back in Mayberry RFD!
GO SPURS!
and when we finished playing our show, we got off the stage and joined in with the locals in performing at least 3 brutal hate crimes against people of various ethnicities.
apparently, that is an old St. Patrick’s Day tradition in Round Rock.
in hindsight, i recall that several of the people in the group with us were of the same ethnicity as the victims of our fun, senseless, and extremely violent rampage.
i guess that is what you could call ‘Irony’.
thank you, plucker’s. thank you.
anyhoo, we’re playing a big show on friday at the mohawk.
the post below should have told you.
‘shorry folksh! parksh closhed! moosh out front should’ve told you!.’
hey! a movie quote! i should do that more often!
luv,
t
i’m nervous.
tonite is the plucker’s show!
i’m also in a great deal of pain from the little festival that exists here in this town each year.
i have injured my foot somehow and have been forced to hobble around austin like the guy in no country for old me.
i have decided that tonite i will use hot wings as a queso delivery method, rather than the fried macaroni and cheese sticks (’FMACS’).
the FMACS will be used as a tool for delivering ranch dressing.
i plan to be in top physical form for our official cd-release party at the MF MOHAWK THIS FRIDAY!!!!!
with:
dans la lune
zookeeper
til we’re blue or destroy
i hope we play outside, because i have a feeling this show will be packed.
elbow-to-asshole.
what a delightful expression!
luv,
t
i think i want to get to plucker’s early on monday just in case they run out of fried macaroni and cheese sticks (’FMACS’).
i’ll probably want to use the FMACS rather than tortilla chips (’CHIPS’) to scoop out the queso i’m gonna order.
so how did the hole in the wall show with masonic go?
mf awesome!
and as we were setting up, we took a last minute gig that was right around the corner from my apartment.
that turned out to be a good idea to do the second show.
and by the time i got off stage, i was dead tired.
2 shows in like 3 hours was enough for me.
enough for me until … plucker’s!
oh and then there’s a little show at the mohawk next friday nite, March 21.
no big whoop.
just a cd release party with Dans La Lune, Zookeeper, and Til We’re Blue or Destroy on the same bill.
it’s not like it’s a plucker’s show or anything.
unless there will be fried macaroni and cheese sticks dipped in queso.
luv,
t
just roughly 43 hours after doing things to my liver that would make a grecian blush, i have been sent a link (via john mason’s text phone thing) regarding our performance at the guided by voices hoot nite.
now, mind you, i did that thing where i drink, get slightly obnoxious to anyone working the door and/or the bar and/or standing within ear shot of me, and then automagically turn it off for EXACTLY the length of time it takes to play the show seemingly coherent.
and afterwards, i immediately pick up where i left off and continue the bridge-burning process.
it was a lot of fun doing that at toof shows! i’m starting to kinda miss that!
you know what i don’t miss?
going to jail because i drove through a television show.
it’s funny, because after the show, we realized that eryn never told the audience who we were.
and we were all like ‘maybe it doesn’t matter.’
well…. it mattered!
and well, maybe it’s not exactly funny, but it’s anecdotal.
and that’s good enough for me!
thanks donewaiting.com!
oh, and our in-store at the trailer space records went really well today!
the crowd was kinda spare, but how many millions of things are going on right now at any given moment?
tomorrow’s show at the hole in the wall will probably be a bigger crowd!
luv,
t
last nite.
club deville’s guided by voices hoot nite.
not form complete sentence now.
like bad haiku writer.
or stroke victim.
show good.
really good.
head hurt.
really hurt.
face numb.
sxsw make liver mad.
hi folks!
it’s still ratcheting up to the big week!
this year, i’m not leading up to this week by drinking every night and eating Arby’s and sleeping on unlevel hardwood floors and not bathing and messing myself in grocery stores!
nope.
not this year!
this year, i’m actually taking care of my temple!
and i got SHOWS AND SHOWS AND SHOWS AND SHOWS!
but one show holds a different level of seriousness for me.
i am just 12 days away from the most important show i’ve ever played:
i’m kinda scared.
what if we mess up?
i mean, what if one those guys wearing a burnt orange baseball cap with the UT logo on it actually puts down his hot wing(s) and walks out because kevin messes up a keyboard solo or eryn forgets one of the verses?
and what if one of the females who works and/or frequently drinks there and who is also destined to be featured on a 5-minute segment of Girls Gone Wild kissing another girl whom she will have just met on 6th Street prior to entering the GGW tour bus actually doesn’t like us?
these are just some of the scenarios running through my head in anticipation of what could possibly make or break this band as we know it.
especially the one of the girl who just met the other girl and decided to let Girls Gone Wild film them for 5 minutes on the tour bus.
but then, that fantasy just sort of spirals back into me eating some hot wings and chips and queso with an entire roll of paper towels sitting in front of me to wipe the chicken grease, buffalo sauce, ranch dressing, tortilla chip crumbs, and coagulated queso drops off my face and forehead.
and, as i amazingly synchronize the very last paper towel with the very last drop of ranch dressing on the very last bite of overprocessed chicken wing while i’m still chewing the last room-temperature drop of queso on the final broken tortilla chip; i will wipe my face and greasy fingers clean of all pollutants, get up, waddle my bloated body through a crowd of ambivalent baseball-cap aficionados and play the greatest show of my life.
WOW!
it’s official!
i am renaming this blog to ‘too many adjectives and stereotypical gen x cynicism’ .com
luv,
t
flame on!
sxsw is clicking nearer!
where do i escape?
we have like 100 shows in 5 days.
okay, maybe not that many.
i’m looking forward to the tuesday nite guided by voices hoot nite.
that should be fun.
i like the 2 gbv songs we do.
now i’m writing like a third-grader:
i like food and baseball.
my mom and dad are neat.
they bought me a darth vader and r2d2.
my best friend's name is krishna.
girls are gross.
// end third grade emulation
… and so forth.
in other news, who has 2 thumbs, a semi, and sxsw platinum badge?
THIS GUY!
i have no idea what i’m going to do with this laminated asshole identifier.
i’ll probably just wear it like a flavor-flav clock and walk around town like my shit doesn’t stink, that way i’ll fit in with all the other douchebags who come stain this city each year.
WOW!
that was kinda nasty!
i’ll balance that out with something nice.
i’ve been spending way too much time looking at icanhascheezburger.com.
here is one of my favorites:
yep.
you guessed it.
i’m at a coffeehouse.
or coffee shop.
one that serves beer.
pitchers of beer.
pitchers of sweet, sweet, delicious beer.
next-day, painful, headache-inducing, crappy-food-cravings-causing, obnoxious beer.
at a coffeehouse!
… or coffee shop.
what have you.
that wasn’t a question, either.
so the masonic show this friday at club deville isn’t happening due to an ‘oopsy-daisy’ with booking agent.
no big whoop.
we still have shows the week of sxsw lined up.
right now, we have the hole in the wall on Friday, at 5pm.
day shows.
at the hole in the wall.
not my favorite place, but it should be a really good show.
oh sure, doug sahm and jerry jeff walker and van halen and yngwie malmsteen ALL owe their success to the hole in the wall.
as do vallejo, bob schneider, los lonely boys, willie nelson, amplified heat, todd rundgren, adolf hitler and scratch acid.
oh, and let’s not forget bill cosby, nolan ryan, and richard simmons.
the hole in the wall is akin to the bitter end in new york city.
i had the honor of playing there about 8 or 9 years ago with my friend, Cameron Dezen.
at the time, she had a couple of songs that required the use of a roland groovebox.
and i happily played that show at this venue behind and in front of murals of all the people who played there in a different age like bob dylan, jerry jeff, and so forth.
after the show, the older, heavier, stronger doorman was extremely upset with me.
he said something to the effect of ‘nobody uses a drum machine at the bitter end! nobody has ever done that here and nobody ever should!’
he continued to chastise me, but the whole time he was berating me, i couldn’t help but think:
‘wow, I’M the first person to bring a drum machine on that stage? THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME!’
so i had this dumb smirk on my face while he’s getting more and more upset with me for not acknowledging what a sacrilege i committed.
i have a feeling that only made him more angry.
anyhoo, i started to draw a mural of myself on the wall using my favorite media: sharpies and my own fecal matter.
i attempted to depict me having intercourse with the doorman’s biological mother while she fellated the roland groovebox, but i’m more of a musician than i am a visual artist, so i had to scratch it out and start over a couple of times.
and, oh sure, maybe i could have done it in a blank spot on the wall rather than over the painting of bob dylan.
hindsight is always 20/20.
but i grew my mustache and now i have to lie in it.
and that’s why we’re playing at the hole in the wall on Friday, March 14, 2008, at 5 pm.
so if you’re in town, COME ON OUT AND SEE US!
luv,
t
hi y’all
the beauty bar show went really well last nite for masonic.
and mustaches were in full bloom.
it was mushtastic!
it was mushtacular!
ahhh, the irony of being a hipster.
the real irony of hipsters is that they actually haven’t truly been hip since 1999-2000.
i’m not sure why they still pursue it.
i guess it’s because goth, countrymullet, chollo, guido, and texpunk have all cycled through and we’re all just waiting on a new trend that bucks the establishment.
well, i grew my mustache and now i have to lie in it.
i hope that’s the last tuesday night we ever have to play there, though.
because i have a bad case of the ‘miller high life beer rips the lining out of stomachs’ today at work.
we’re also playing at club deville on Friday, 2/22, and at the Mohawk on Friday, 3/21.
and then i’m sure there will be a show at the Long Branch Inn as well as other parties during south by.
that concludes masonic news!
anyhoo.
so, uh, what else is new?
well, i’m not gonna mention toof right now.
but if something happens, i’ll be the first one to post on here about it.
let’s see… what else?
lost is back on the air.
neat.
and, um, britney spears is really not attractive at all anymore, is she?
nope.
and what else… hmmm….
i still like hot wings!
but queso is still the elvis of my heart.
luv,
t
and that’s important.
for a lot of reasons.
first of all, let’s get to the music news.
masonic is on ’stand by’ at sxsw, despite all the friends we have!
but i will say that it’s better than a flat-out ‘no,’ even though it usually amounts to being just a prolonged ‘no.’
still, i really stand by this record we made, as well as just about everyone i know who’s heard it.
we have a show at the beauty bar again on Feb 12, which is good.
and we’re working on a show or two at emo’s, one of which i hope works out for us, because it will be a super-huge one.
i don’t want to jinx it, though. so i will be coy and shut my mouth [sic] now.
back to the superbowl stuff, now.
the question really isn’t ‘who will win? the unprecedented, undefeated patriots, or the hard working team with heart, the giants?’
the question really is: how many fluid ounces of queso will i subject my digestive system to?
16?
20?
32?
1 quart?
i’m amazingly skinny for someone who eats as much of that crap as i do.
i’m not bragging, but i am a little concerned that i’m gonna get the diabetes.
because i’m not gaining weight, i would imagine that my heart is probably not too stressed from all the goo.
so the diabetes will sneak around and get me!
hahahaha! diabetes is funny!
so is heath ledger’s death.
ouch!
that was kinda random.
heath ledger dying is not tragic to anyone except his close friends and family.
if a homeless person that’s never made a movie gets stabbed in a knife fight over a can of pork and beans, i’m not crying about it.
so the road map to peace in the middle east doesn’t need to be scrapped because heath ledger ate too many prescription pills.
and if prescription pills were chips and queso, i don’t think heath would be too upset with the news of me getting the diabetes.
so there.
mystery solved.
i also like hot wings.
luv,
t
politics are gay, but sports are WAY gayer.
especially if you’re from houston.
and now i’ll explain why.
you see, houston is cursed.
it is a hot, steamy bowl of crap, despair, and broken dreams for about 10 months out of the year.
just drive down I-45 south of the loop.
crappy furniture store, check cashing place, shitty tire shop, broken down tiddy-bar, red lion hotel, rinse, repeat.
anyhoo, sports are way gayer than politics not only because they fuel the childish anger in the same way that liberals and conservatives polarize this country and create even more enemies around the world, but because there are entirely too many sports teams to keep up with.
at least with politics, you only have 2 teams and you get to hate anyone else who doesn’t like your team.
i don’t have time to care about 32 NFL teams, or the 296 college teams.
and if you do, then how different are you — really — from some dude who lives with his mom and attends star trek conventions?
admittedly, i’m not much of a sports fan because houston has always produced some gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, soul-draining, teams.
oh sure, there were the 2 years in the mid 90s that michael jordan foolishly played baseball and the rockets won the nba championship.
but let’s face it, had michael jordan not been sucking at baseball, he would have those 2 rings.
so i’m not convinced.
anyways, when i was really young, my best friend was this kid named Krishna.
krishna and i were pretty tight, his family would take me to their ashram and i got introduced early to a different kind of culture than all the other shitty southern evangelical bullshit that helps stew the darkness of houston.
i have early memories about me and krishna and us both totally loving the houston oilers and earl campbell, dan pastorini, ken stabler, and bum phillips.
now, had the oilers actually won the superbowl in the 70s, maybe i would be a different human being today.
i mean, that oilers team really let us all down despite bad referee calls and the terry bradshaws and the mean joe greenes and the franco harrises.
i mean that kind of disappointment destroys your happiness as a young child.
you’re not made to handle that kind of heartbreak when you’re that young!
and maybe that letdown destroyed that same little piece of my soul i need to give a frog’s fat ass about sports today.
or star trek.
or politics.
anyhoo, i do really like superbowl snacks:
chips and queso, queso, nachos, cheese dip, bean dip, chips and salsa, and hot wings.
and last tuesday’s show with masonic at the beauty bar went beautifully!
i was kind of shocked that the coolest kids in town stayed and seemingly enjoyed the show on what was a pretty shitty evening with regards to weather!
that band seems to keep surprising me.
i think we all figured that since it was raining, we were gonna play for the bartenders.
but there was a pretty big crowd and we were all kinda like ‘wow, what are all these people doing here?’
neato!
so let’s wrap this novella up.
damn i’m writey today!
t
SCENE 1: Wide shot of a two-story house in Anywhere, USA…. switch to a living room where BLACK DUDE and BAPTIST GUY are on the couch.
BAPTIST GUY: “The world is flat.”
BLACK DUDE: “Tiger Woods is the greatest athlete of all time.”
We see WOMYN come in from the kitchen wearing an apron that reads “Come N’ Get It!”
WOMYN: “I have a mom haircut.”
MORMON GUY comes in the front door and says, “I can’t drink caffeine because it’s against my religion.”
CATHOLIC DUDE (from upstairs): “Prostate cancer yankees pro-choice 911 times square disneyland second wife.”
(light laughter track)
P.O.W. CURMUDGEON (from kitchen): “My genitals are mangled!!!”
WOMYN, BLACK DUDE, and BAPTIST GUY all roll their eyes.
end of scene 1.
—
politics are gay, i just like writing screenplays.
i’m pretty good at it, i think.
i’m working on a action/romantic comedy right now.
it’s kind of a cross between american history x and mr. and mrs. smith.
except with a lot more prison rape scenes.
product placement ideas include: sonic’s cheesecake bites, t-mobile sidekicks, toyota yaris, taco bell’s 7 layer burritos, blockbuster video, and target
clever one liners include:
“it’s time to take out the trash”
“i’m getting too old for this shit”
“if he stops being a white supremacist, i’m gonna rape that guy in the shower while 2 other men hold him down.”
it’s off to a good start
masonic played at emo’s free week last week in front of probably the biggest crowd i’ve ever played for.
maybe the roller derby had more people, but i really have no idea, emo’s was elbow-to-asshole in there.
coming up this tuesday, we’re playing at the beauty bar again, to probably 10 people.
but since the beauty bar is on the extreme edge of cool, those 10 people equate to 200!
so that kind of works itself out.
in other news, the world is still flat, thank god for that!
he blessed us with a flat planet so that the angels can land softly and so that we can have another president from arkansas.
i know, i know, politics are gay. but check out the line up this year:
a pro-choice catholic,
a black dude,
a womyn,
a mormon,
a flabby baptist minister whose dark, ugly soul is revealed through his shiftless, beady eyes,
and the curmudgeonly old prisoner of war.
WOW!
we’re fucked.
t
after a pretty crappy start, 2007 is ending pretty cool.
masonic turned out to be a really good source of joy for me and i feel like i’m 10 times the bass player i was before joining them.
and that’s a lot because i’m kind of a bad ass! ;) winkey face
also, i really enjoyed working with the good folks in montreal, Muteknight.
those boys rock.
also, i got to have my song in a little movie about lesbians with amputee fetishes. that was pretty awesome.
new year’s eve, i’m playing with masonic at Club Deville for the Guided By Voices hoot nite!
that will be awesome, too!
we’re playing ’smothered in hugs’ and ‘glad girls.’
or as i like to say, ’smothered in underwear’ and ‘glad bags’.
which are only 2 of the 100 or so bad ass GBV songs to pick from.
i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the mythology of McDonald’s and its importance to the evolution of Greek and Roman culture up until the dark ages.
Grimace and the Hamburglar seem to appear often in friezes of the Classical architecture or on the water vessels found from that era.
However, Turdburglar was a figure who didn’t seem to fare very well with regards to longevity.
I don’t seem to find any reference to that particular icon after the Greek era.