that shit got you drunk.
my greatest memory of Bud Dry is listening to Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock’s “It Takes Two To Make A Thing Go Right”
that song was my generation’s equivalent of Kool and the Gang’s “Celebration” or the Black Eyed Pea’s “Let’s Get It Started”.
my least favorite memory of Bud Dry was [...]

one trick to avoid when you’re in prison is the ‘push-up contest.’
sometimes, an older, more-seasoned prisoner will challenge a newer, less-experienced prisoner to a push-up contest.
the winner would be able to demonstrate who is the strongest of the two and enjoy bragging rights.
as a courtesy, the new prisoner gets to go first.
after pumping out all [...]

click here if you can’t see the video above….

okey dokey.
well….
let’s see….
i forgot to mention that i received yet another phil collins vinyl record anonymously in the mail not too long ago.
this time, rather than no return address, it was from someone in vancouver.
and i’m sad because i thought canadians hated phil collins as much as me, but i guess i shouldn’t stereotype.
there also [...]

you know what you did, Don.
don’t act like you’re surprised.
it’s on.
like Scudder and Justin a la Carnivale, it’s on.
except neither one of those guys were douchebags like you.
oh wait.
i meant to title this post:
“i just foolishly bought a new laptop!”
sorry, don!
keep up the good work!
carry on!
you’ll get what’s coming to you….
eventually.
anyhoo, i just bought a [...]

sorry people
i don’t give a frog’s fat ass about how much the cost of awesome blossoms are effing up your finances.
and you know what, i DO have a magic wand and i could wave it around and set the price of awesome blossoms to it’s 1998 prices.
but you can suck it, consumers!
now, maybe you’ve heard [...]